


Intoxicate

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2018) [17]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Drama, F/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Sexual Content, joseph's thirst continues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-05 10:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: Sequel-ish to Wavering. Faith brings Joseph a gift, and Joseph is pleased.





	Intoxicate

“I’ve brought you a gift, brother.”  
  
Faith looked like the cat that had just cornered the canary and broken its wings, and Joseph could certainly see why.  
  
“I’m pleased, Faith,” Joseph whispered, and saw Faith straighten up a little at the praise. “Very, very pleased. As always, I am humbled by your devotion.” He kissed her forehead, and Faith fairly _shined_ with delight.  
  
“I’m happy to have made you happy,” She gushed, the picture of humble, gentle pride and sweetness. “Shall I leave you alone with her, now?”  
  
Should he be alone right now?  
  
Would he resist temptation?  
  
He would have to. He may never have this opportunity again.  
  
“Yes, please. Go with my blessing, Faith.”  
  
Faith danced from the room, shutting the door behind her as she left. Joseph watched her go, eyes falling shut as the room fell silent; a moment passed. Then another. Then another. He worked himself into the sort of trance one might fall into when the world was silent, when all there was in that moment was one’s mind and thoughts. Everything was still; everything was peaceful.  
  
“ _Nnh._ ”  
  
The soft whine brought Joseph out of his trance.  
  
Now he was forced to confront the object of his considerable concern for the last few weeks; Joseph steeled himself, prayed for strength, prayed to be subject to his better angels. Then he let out a long breath, and then turned around.  
  
Deputy Rook was laid out on the length of the couch. For a moment, Joseph was reminded of when he’d first come into contact with John again and once found his little brother high on (what Joseph suspected was) heroin; he’d been barely aware of his surroundings, unable to string a sentence together for how slurred and disjointed his speech was. The Deputy was clearly in better shape- out of touch with her immediate reality, but not bordering on catatonic the way John had been- but her posture was eerily similar.  
  
Joseph felt a small, reflexive stab of guilt, and then reprimanded himself. _It’s not the same thing. The Bliss is not the same as heroin, or marijuana, or cocaine, or any other illegal drug. It’s far better and cleaner than anything those drugs could ever hope to be. It helps people._  
  
After all, it had brought the Deputy to Faith, and through Faith, to him.  
  
To _him._  
  
Joseph shuddered, those old, sinful thoughts taunting him from the darker recesses of his mind, reminding him of his weakness. He forced them away, asked God again for strength. “Deputy,” he said softly, fingers brushing the worn fabric of the couch’s arm. “It’s good to see you again.”  
  
“Mm?” The Deputy’s eyes opened, and it took her a moment to focus on him- maybe another to recognize him as well. “Ohhh. Hi, hi.” She slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes and trying to rouse herself, swinging her legs off the couch.  
  
Joseph took the opportunity to sit down beside her, keeping a careful distance between them. Given the havoc she’d been wreaking, he could not rule out the possibility that this was a ruse to get close to him; John had advised him that her greatest sin was Wrath, and Wrath could be unpredictable when wielded by someone as intelligent as the Deputy had proven herself to be. “How are you feeling?”  
  
The Deputy gave him a dreamy smile and scooted closer to him. Joseph was wary, but offered her a smile regardless. “I feel really good,” She said, voice only a little unsteady now as she brushed some loose hair away from her eyes. “Faith gave me some, uh… Some…” She snapped her fingers a few times, trying to summon the word.  
  
“Bliss?” Joseph suggested.  
  
“Bliss! Bliss, yeah, that’s it.” She dropped her head onto Joseph’s shoulder, and he started slightly from surprise. Had his interest in the Deputy been purely- well, _Professional_ was probably the best word for it- he might not have been bothered by the contact. As it was, this woman had proven to be an unexpected source of weakness for Joseph, as though the Devil himself had sent her to get past his defenses, under his skin. “I really like it. I feel good. I fell the other day and hit my knee on a rock, banged it up real bad, and I don’t even feel it right now.”  
  
Now that Joseph was closer, he could see the faint milky film in the Deputy’s eyes that indicated she was under the sway of the Bliss. That was a relief; if she was in its hold, it wasn’t likely that this was a trick, a ruse to give her a shot at him. “What’s brought you here today, Deputy Rook?” Joseph asked, gently setting his hand on her own. That wasn’t sinful, that wasn’t giving into temptation.  
  
“Faith,” She responded.  
  
Joseph chuckled. “Yes, Faith brought you to me- but why did you go with her? Why did you choose to come and see me?”  
  
“I dunno,” The Deputy yawned, “I wanted to see you. I liked you the last time I saw you.” She chuckled, turning his hand over in her own. “You gave me a flower. It was pretty.”  
  
Yes, she was definitely in the Bliss- but it was wearing off. When someone was slowly coming off the Bliss (especially if they hadn’t been given too much) they tended to act like they were drunk- and that would certainly explain why the Deputy, who was quite opposed to Eden’s Gate, was hanging all over Joseph the way she was. “I did,” Joseph said. “It’s the flower we use to make the Bliss.”  
  
“You weren’t wearing a shirt.”  
  
Joseph’s throat felt thick. “I was not,” he agreed, voice raspy.  
  
“You look really good without your shirt.”  
  
His heart started racing. “Thank you, Deputy.”  
  
No, no, he needed to stop this. Her words, her proximity, it was putting Joseph in a bad place, it was making him want things that he very much should not be wanting, things he should have enough self-control to resist. Joseph had struggled with sin all his life, _continued_ to struggle with it now, and for a woman who seemed to stoke the fire of two very particular sins in him to be so close was wearing on him. The urge to throw his better nature to the wind and succumb was overwhelming.  
  
Joseph took a few slow, deep breaths through his nose. _Do not give in. Do not give in. Do **not** give in._  
  
The Deputy weighed heavily on him- literally, in this case. Her eyes were opening, closing, opening, closing. Joseph saw an opportunity and took it: “Maybe you should get some rest, Deputy Rook.”  
  
“Okay,” She mumbled, and didn’t move.  
  
Joseph gently stood up and coaxed the Deputy to her feet as well. As he led her through the compound, he noticed that she was limping, probably from that injured knee. _I could help that_ , he thought, _I could-_  
  
No.  
  
No.  
  
The jeans she was wearing were tight around the lower-leg and ankles, and that meant she wouldn’t be able to just roll them up- it necessitated that she would have to take them off for him to do something. Joseph was not about to put himself in a situation where he would be further tempted to lust, tempted to covet the affections of someone who did not return them.  
  
(Or did she?)  
  
If she asked, Joseph would help. No more, no less.  
  
He led her to Faith’s room, one his sister rarely used anymore now that she spent most of her time in Henbane. She also wouldn’t mind the Deputy using her room and bed the way that Jacob or John might. “You can stay here tonight,” Joseph said as he led her to the bed. She stumbled a little when her legs hit the mattress, and he thought to help her sit, but instead she turned to face him.  
  
“Thanks,” Deputy Rook said, and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
Joseph froze. When she didn’t let go, he slowly, gently, returned the hug; after a moment or two, he tightened it, pressing as close to her as she did to him. He wouldn’t mind if this became a reality of his life, if this woman stayed and he could be permitted to simply embrace her this way on a regular basis.  
**_  
_** _**Not now.**_  
  
The voice that had been so pervasive in his life, the voice of God, spoke to him as clearly as ever.  
**_  
_** **_Not now._**  
**_  
Not right now._**  
  
Joseph exhaled deeply, tried to push himself away and let God’s will dictate him; it was an incredible struggle. But eventually he gently, gently pulled away from Deputy Rook, only to find that she seemed to be falling asleep on him. She frowned when he pushed her away, but said nothing, gripped by exhaustion and lingering Bliss as she was. Joseph helped her into the bed, watched as her eyes fell shut and her breathing steadied into sleep.  
  
Joseph left the room silently, immediately returning to his own with quick, purposeful strides.  
  
Finding himself alone, alone in his room in the aftermath of all _that_ , left Joseph feeling wild, out of control, and God was not speaking to him now. “Help me,” He pled, digging his fingers into his scalp. “Guide me, lead me, _please._ ”  
  
God said nothing.  
  
And Joseph Seed unraveled.  
  
He remembered the press of the Deputy’s body against his, and Joseph gripped himself through his trousers, massaging as he remembered how warm she’d felt, how _wonderful_ it had felt to embrace her, to have her in his arms and be receiving affection from her; to have received _acceptance_ from her was intoxicating.  
  
“Stay,” Joseph croaked, not even bothering to try and pull down his pants. “Please, God, let her stay. I want her to _stay_.”  
  
It wasn’t simply beauty, or intelligence; it was that Joseph sensed Deputy Rook to be of a similar person to him, a person driven by their convictions and willing to go to extremes to do what she thought was right. Joseph was intrigued by her, drawn to her, and he recognized how valuable it would be to have her in Eden’s Gate, at his side. He wanted the pleasure of showing her the joy of Eden’s Gate, of serving God’s purpose- of being one of his family.  
  
Joseph was self-aware enough to understand that his motivations were not entirely unselfish.  
  
He groped and ground himself into the bed until he came in his pants, half-sobbing with relief, and for all his exhaustion and everything he’d just done, Joseph could barely resist changing his clothes and crawling into bed with the Deputy. He badly, _badly_ wanted to hold her again, wanted to hope that she would wake up and want to stay on the compound, stay with _him_.  
  
( ** _Not now,_** God had told him.  
**_  
_** _**Not** now._)  
  
In the morning, the Deputy was gone.  
  
It was disappointing to Joseph, but not especially shocking; once the Bliss wore off and she’d woken up, she would have realized where she was and run for the hills at the first opportunity. Did she remember their conversation? Did she remember embracing him with such warmth? Was she disturbed by it?  
  
Would she come back?  
  
Joseph hoped so.  
  
( ** _Not_ now.**)  
  
-End

**Author's Note:**

> someone: so how many stories do you plan on writing where the punchline is ‘bliss made them do it?’ 
> 
> me: *opens ten more word docs* mind your business.


End file.
